The Hebrew word shleimut means perfection, completeness, integrity, and wholeness. But like most things in Judaism, there are many different interpretations of shleimut. In this moment, I’m talking about it in terms of “inner spiritual wholeness.”
Alan Morinis writes in Everyday Holiness that to be on the path of spiritual wholeness is to be reaching, not in one place. The point is not to go through life in a constant state of bliss, it’s to do the work on oneself constantly striving toward the Divine.
Shleimut, like all Hebrew words, has a three-letter root that contains its essence and connects it to other words with the same root. One such word that shares its root with shleimut (שלימות) is shleimah (שלימה). When someone is sick, the Jewish tradition is to wish them a refuah shleimah — meaning a “complete healing.” The idea is that it’s not just the physical injury or sickness we must heal from, but the mental, emotional, and spiritual side-effects, too.
For me, a journey that began with physical healing ultimately led to spiritual healing. A few years ago, I fractured my skull and had a concussion for several months. My neurologist at the time suggested I begin meditating to help with my physical healing. It didn’t go smoothly. Even though I had built many personal healthy habits after university, and was even working on building a career helping companies address the health of their employees, a personal meditation practice was something I had struggled to stick with.
So I read and listened to everything I could on mindfulness and its scientific benefits. Then on day six of my Headspace trial (a meditation app), I invested in a full membership. The push to physically heal finally helped me stick with a meditation practice. (I loved it so much, I went on to work at Headspace itself!)
My physical healing journey eventually led me to an emotional and spiritual healing, too. And that’s how I found myself looking into what Jewish wisdom has to say about shleimut.
One way to strive for shleimut is through the integration of all our different parts. The Rabbis of the Talmud teach that we each have a duality within us: the yetzer ha-ra and the yetzer tov — our good and evil inclinations, which connect us to both the spiritual and material worlds. We all have parts of our lives that are darker and need healing. I didn’t realize it at the time, but the work I was doing was to integrate my yetzer ha-ra and my yetzer tov.
I recently chatted with my friend and psychologist, Amanda Britton LMHC, (RYT-500 at The Mind-Body Collective), about the idea of the shadow, a term used to refer to the things that drive our behaviors, but which we aren’t aware of. Shadow work involves acknowledging that we are all capable of the full spectrum of human emotion and human actions. Then, we do the work to integrate all our parts. Sounds a bit like seeking shleimut, doesn’t it?
As a Jew on a renewed spiritual journey who also has a degree in science, the connections between Jewish wisdom and psychology are a blessing. And the more I heal, the more whole I feel. That includes sitting with my emotions as they arise in my body and accepting and embracing the many sides of myself.
Many different tools have supported my journey besides my meditation practice. Tools like therapy, the mikvah (and reclaiming it as a spiritual practice from the narrow view sometimes taught in traditional day school settings), and starting a Well Circle. I found At The Well through my friend and fellow Well Circle leader, Rachel Briks. We spent most of a year building up our Well Circle — a group that helps me feel empowered, and who have been an incredible support system throughout my healing journey.
This work toward finding shleimut is, in some ways, solo work. Only you can decide to take one step, then another, and another. For me, my Well Circle provides support and space to be seen wherever I am on this path.
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If you’re starting on a journey of shleimut, you’ll need to find daily practices that work for you and make room for your internal work to breathe.
Try meditating and focusing on your breath (10 minutes a day was all I needed to get going), journaling, seeing a therapist, walking in nature, and, if you’re ready and interested, visiting the mikvah.
Do not rush this process. The old adage of one step forward, two steps back will often apply. Use your Well Circle as support to whatever extent you feel comfortable.
Wherever you are on this journey, it is constantly evolving. At times, it may feel like you are on your own. Remember, we are all on the path in some way. It is your journey to take, and one I know you can. Lean on each other, and know you can always take a breath and begin again.
Disclaimer: While she is very knowledgeable in this space, Dvora is not a meditation teacher or mental health professional. If you’re having suicidal thoughts or struggling with depression, please seek out professional help.
At The Well uplifts many approaches to Jewish practice. Our community draws on ancient Jewish wisdom, sometimes adapting longstanding practices to more deeply support the well-being of women and nonbinary people. See this article’s sources below. We believe Torah (sacred teachings) are always unfolding to help answer the needs of the present moment.
Everyday Holiness: The Jewish Spiritual Path of Mussar, Alan Morinis
Aspiring to Personal Sheleimut (Wholeness), IDEAS
Jewish Rituals for Healing: Honoring Holy Waters, At The Well
Dvora is a Well Circle leader and all-around wellness enthusiast. She loves finding ways to bring together Judaism, spirituality, and wellness. She is currently a part-time digital nomad/part-time NYC resident, works in mental health tech as a Sr. Manager of Global Implementation at Headspace Health, and is a mikvah guide with Immerse NYC. All opinions are her own.
