King David & the At The Well Model of Forgiveness

Each summer, as we enter the month of Elul and begin to mindfully close the Jewish year, the At The Well community embarks on the Season of the Heart.

This month-long journey helps bring peace and release into our lives through the power of forgiveness — and it's all anchored in Jewish teachings and modern mindfulness.

Specifically, we use a model of forgiveness as a three-step process, brought down by Rabbi Alan Lew in his book This Is Real and You Are Completely Unprepared. Rabbi Lew explains a cryptic Midrash Zuta (in Tanna D’Vei Eliyahu Zuta).

In short: King David knew that the Holy Temple would be destroyed in the future, and he was troubled, wondering, How will the nation of Israel make atonement? The Divine told King David that when troubles come upon Israel, let them do the following three steps:

1. Stand before me together as a single unit
2. And make confession before me
3. And say the selichot (forgiveness) service before me, and I will answer them.

What could this mean for us today? How can these three steps support you “when troubles come upon” you or your relationships? We interpret this broadly to mean any actions that have severed relationships or caused hurt, hatred, or pain to another.

This is what the process means to us:

1. “Stand before me together as a single unit”: Connect to something broader and greater. Feel yourself as part of a circle of support.
2. “And make confession before me”: Do the inner work. This means being honest with yourself, taking responsibility, letting go, and softening hard feelings.
3. “And say the selichot (forgiveness) service before me, and I will answer them”: Tap into supportive rituals that allow you to express your inner work into the outer world. In other words, take action!

We have structured the Season of the Heart as a three-week process of connection, reflection, and action (plus a week-long introduction for setting intention). This forgiveness journey walks you through an expansive collective experience, then a highly personal one, and then extends into the opportunity for interpersonal work.

You may connect most strongly to one realm of this work, and that’s just fine. You know yourself and your needs best, so please honor this Season of the Heart process as a loving invitation, not a mandate.

The wisdom of the Hebrew Calendar brings this intensive opportunity for forgiveness back every single year. There is always more to learn and discover. Take things at the pace that feels right for you.

Join us for the Season of the Heart this Elul inside the At The Well Collective.